


After Christmas dinner

by glitteredsins, jennandanica



Series: Citadel: Antony Starr and Stephen Amell [98]
Category: Actor RPF, Arrow (TV 2012) RPF, Banshee (TV) RPF, Citadel (Journalfen RPG), New Zealand Actor RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-26
Updated: 2018-03-26
Packaged: 2019-04-08 14:03:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,452
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14106960
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/glitteredsins/pseuds/glitteredsins, https://archiveofourown.org/users/jennandanica/pseuds/jennandanica





	After Christmas dinner

  
**players only. backdated to 2013. takes place[later the same day](https://antony-starr.dreamwidth.org/12999.html).**

_warnings: none_

Christmas music playing softly in the background, Stephen nudges his dinner plate away with a grin. "I'm so full it's obscene," he announces, the debris of their Christmas dinner laid out between them. "That was fabulous."

"Thank you," Antony says, smiling, sipping at the last of his wine. "And thanks for your help in the kitchen. It was fun cooking together." True to his word as always, he had relinquished _some_ control and surprisingly, it hadn't hurt at all.

"Who knew we had synergy huh?" Stephen teases, he's well on his way to being tipsy for the second day in a row, and he finds he doesn't care. It's been incredibly relaxing to have all this down time, though he knows from experience he'll be itching to get back to the gym soon enough.

Antony grins. "You sure you don't want some more pie?" he asks, nudging the pan towards Stephen. "There's still cinnamon rolls too."

"What's that guy say in that Monty Python skit? 'Fuck off I'm full'." Laughing Stephen shakes his head. "Nope, I think it'll be at least... oh an hour before I can eat again."

"But I can cut you a wafer-thin piece," Antony teases, affecting the waiter's French accent.

"Fuck off I'm full!" Stephen's laughing outright now as he rolls to his feet from the chair and picks up some of the dishes to take to the kitchen. "Do you want more wine? Or coffee?"

"I'm good," Antony says, helping Stephen move things into the kitchen. "You want to watch our other movie?" he asks, opening the dishwasher.

"Yeah, that'd be nice." Lounging on the sofa while he digests is about all Stephen's good for right now.

"I should take the guys down a plate of squares," Antony says as he loads up the dishwasher and puts the roasting pan to soak. "You want to get us set up? Grab me a scotch?"

"Yes sir," Stephen nods, the title coming naturally and without thought. He tidies up a little more, pours Antony one of his better scotches and opens another bottle of wine for himself, before sprawling out on the sofa.

Antony delivers a plate loaded with squares and cookies to the guys on the front desk, staying to chat with them for a few minutes about their Christmases and their New Years plans. He gives them money too - an annual tip - but does that earlier in the month so they can have the money to spend for the holidays. One of the guys - Troy - is interested in working for AJS and Antony gives him a name and direct number but no promises, finally drawing away with a laugh and a wave before heading back upstairs.

Stephen glances up from the TV when Antony reappears. "Hey darling man," he beams. "All good?"

"Yup." Antony grins. "Gotta pass some of the calories around."

"Dear god yes," Stephen pats his still ridiculously flat belly. "Will you still want me when my ass is fat?" He flutters his lashes at his husband, clearly teasing.

"Your ass will never be fat," Antony says, bracing himself over his husband and dropping a kiss on his mouth. "But I will still want you even when we're old and gray and hobbling all over the place."

"Awww, your romantic is showing again." The teasing words are warm, murmured against Antony's mouth. "I love you, thank you for today."

"You're welcome." Antony sits down beside Stephen and reaches for his scotch. "You're happy with your presents?"

"I love them all!" Stephen beams, he now has a pile of opened gifts set beside the tree, including a beautiful leather gym bag to replace his revoltingly trashed one, a silver tie pin, complete with wedding date engraving, a photo album of candid shots from the wedding, and a 160GB classic iPod with headphones. "Though, no yacht," he mock pouts. "Not even a tiny one!"

Antony laughs. "You've got a birthday coming up," he points out.

"I'm joking." Shaking his head Stephen pokes at his husband, "Okay? Joking!"

"Sure," Antony deadpans. "Just joking. I've got it."

Eyes narrowing Stephen tries to weigh up where his husband's head's at, his brow wrinkles and he shuffles closer. "Tony, I mean it," all playfulness gone. "I don't want any more extravagant gifts... promise me?" He reaches out to press a hand to Antony's arm as if to underline the point. "I'm not that person."

"I know," Antony nods, dropping all his teasing. "I'm not going to buy you a yacht. I bought you a jet because it fixed a problem for us. Because it was something I could afford to do for you, to make your life better and our life together easier. A yacht wouldn't do anything like that."

"It's still insane though," Stephen's tone low and vaguely amused. He snugs in closer, makes space for himself against Antony's side, feeling a sudden and unexpected need to be soothed and safe. "Hold me," he implores quietly.

Antony shifts, wrapping his arms around Stephen and pulling him in close. "You okay?"

Rubbing his cheek against Antony's chest, inhaling his lover's scent Stephen murmurs a soft, "Yeah, perfect, just wanted a cuddle, needed to be close."

Antony smiles. "I won't ever say no to that," he murmurs, kissing the top of Stephen's head.

After a few moments of quiet, enjoying the way Antony holds him, his husband's fingers rubbing against his tee, Stephen tips his head up. "Can I ask a really out there question?"

"Yeah. What?" Antony says, steeling himself for what _really out there_ might possibly mean.

"You can be incredibly tender with me, and then when we scene you can be incredibly brutal to me, did you, _do_ you ever feel conflicted by that, by hurting someone you love, I mean, you must've when you first got into S &M," Stephen slips his arm around Antony's waist and rubs his chin against where it rests on Antony's chest.

"Not really," Antony confesses, shaking his head. "The first person I got kinky with was my best friend, when we were both fourteen. He _really_ liked being hurt and I _really_ liked hurting him. It made me accept that some people are just wired that way - from both ends - and that it's okay."

"Just like that?" Stephen pushes, "You've never stopped and wondered about it? We're taught not to hurt people, I know I spent some time trying to get my head around wanting people to hurt me, craving that."

"Yeah, but remember, I've been a soldier," Antony says softly, knowing that doesn't explain it completely. "I've been taught and trained to do the opposite."

Stephen had indeed forgotten, like the other things he sees about his lover, his husband, that he can't get comfortable with, Stephen ignores them, subconsciously putting them in a box to be 'unseen' and erased from his memory. "I'm sorry." Stephen murmurs the apology and turns his head to settle his ear against Antony's body, that strong steady heartbeat just below the surface,

"Don't be," Antony says, tightening his arm around Stephen. "I don't mind you asking."

"I forget sometimes, that's all," Stephen doesn't elaborate beyond that.

"My past really bothers you, doesn't it?" Antony says, very carefully staying away from his work, from the present.

Stephen squeezes his eyes shut for a moment, then makes a conscious effort to relax and not let the tension in his body give away his discomfort. He tries hard to not think about what Antony did, when he was in the army, even more so when he was with the S.A.S., because he knows it will lead to knowledge he just cannot, _will not_ square with the man he knows and loves.

"Yes," Stephen nods, he owes Antony the truth if nothing else. "That's not a part of you I particularly want to be familiar with."

Knowing Stephen's not okay with the legit side of what he's done in the past makes it even harder to think about how his husband would react if he _really_ knew about Antony's work, the things he does now. But they've had that talk. At least as far as it went. And Stephen chose to marry him anyway. "I'm sorry," he murmurs, pressing another kiss to Stephen's hair.

"Don't be, it's in the past, it's not our life." He lets out a sigh and shuffles to reach for the remote. "Movie?" It's an obvious redirect, but Stephen finds he doesn't care.

"Yeah." Antony nods, pulling the throw from the back of the couch and tucking in around Stephen. Everything else pushed aside. "This is one of my favourites."


End file.
